I couldn't believe my ears
When I heard it on the radio news, I thought i'd slipped through a tear in the fabric of the universe and arrived back at 1986.
"The Commonwealth Bank expects its share price to rise rapidly as a result of its new strategic direction focussed on customer service."
Customer service? What's that? This is 2006, when companies - especially telcos and banks - treat people like s---, as though the customer service revolution had never happened.
It goes like this: there was this guy called Pareto who worked out that 20% of your customers give you 80% of your business.
You could work out who they were by looking st your books This came as a revelation to many companies, who used the 80:20 principle as a means of allocating resources.
For the fortunate 20%, times got better, but for the 80%, things got worse. Prices and fees went up, service levels fell.
So now these companies are working on a principle that it is good business to p--- off the majority of your customers.
S----- f----- i-----!
The bank admits it has monstered custmers if you read between the lines in the press release: "The Commonwealth Bank today released details of its ongoing strategy with a refreshed determination to excel in customer service... a fresh emphasis on delivering to our customers the standard of service they appreciate."
That's spin code for 'we failed'...